Stoicism: Not Just for Bros

Craig 00:00 

Stoicism is popular these days, which is a good thing. Unfortunately, Stoicism also has a bit of an image problem … many people see it as being a philosophy for “bros” … those young, aggressive men that seem fixated on competition and material success. But Stoicism isn’t just for bros, it’s a philosophy that can help virtually anyone flourish.

Welcome to Live Well and Flourish, where I help you understand what it means to live a flourishing life. I'm your host, Craig Van Slyke. If you're ready to think beyond material and external success, if you're ready to take control of who you are and the kind of life you live, if you're ready to flourish, this is the podcast for you.

Craig 00:57 

Stoicism has a regrettable affiliation with “bro” culture, that stereotype of young, aggressive, alpha males. But Stoicism can serve as a useful guide for anyone, not just bros. In fact, many aspects of the stereotypical bro culture are antithetical to Stoicism. For example, bro culture is all about competition, usually as defined by external factors. Stoicism teaches the importance of community and shuns the pursuit of external success. As regular listeners know, I’m a big believer in many Stoic ideas, but I’m no bro. I’m an old greybeard who lives a quiet life in the country. Stoic beliefs and practices have helped me navigate many difficult challenges in my life, so I want to encourage you to consider adopting Stoicism as part of your philosophy of life. Stoicism, I believe, is useful for everyone, bro or not.

Craig 01:59 

Stoicism is a vast topic with thousands of years of history and evolution; I can only scratch the surface in this episode. So, I’m going to lay out three important aspects of Stoicism, the cardinal virtues, core beliefs and central practices. Before getting into those details, it’s important to understand that Stoicism is all about living a tranquil life of virtue and reason. “Virtue and reason” may sound familiar to regular listeners -- those are the keys to living a flourishing life, so I use those words a lot. If you want to handle life’s challenges in a way that allows you to maintain tranquility and virtue, listen on. If you don’t … well, you’re probably listening to the wrong podcast.

Let’s get into what I call the “Three Cs” of Stoicism, the cardinal virtues, core beliefs, and central practices.

Craig 03:00 

Stoicism teaches that four virtues are “cardinal,” which means that all other virtues flow from these four. The four cardinal virtues are courage, justice, temperance, and wisdom.

Courage refers to the mental strength necessary to persevere and withstand difficult circumstances. Courage goes beyond physical bravery to include the courage to live according to your values and beliefs, to live according to virtue. Courage is about having the wherewithal to do what’s right, even when it’s risky and hard. To the Stoics, courage is not the absence of fear, courage is about how you react to fear. Does fear paralyze you or do you face fear head-on and act according to virtue and your values?

Justice is all about having a commitment to fairness, equity, and impartiality. There are three central elements to the Stoic view of justice. Justice is universal; it applies to everyone regardless of social status, race, gender, or any other factor. Justice is also based on reason. It’s not about following some arbitrary set of rules or blindly following custom. Justice requires acting according to reason and fairness. Finally, justice is active; it’s not just about avoiding doing something wrong, justice requires actively promoting what is right and good.

Craig 04:32 

Temperance involves self-restraint in all aspects of life. It’s about controlling your impulses so that you are not governed by them. Temperance, as I said, involves ALL aspects of life, your speech, your actions, what you eat and drink, your emotions … even your thoughts. Temperance isn’t about extreme asceticism (I think I said that right), it’s about moderation. In Stoicism, temperance includes being content with your circumstances, even if they’re not ideal. Temperance also requires banishing envy of others and the things that they have.

I saved wisdom for last because wisdom is what puts the other virtues into action. Wisdom is about making choices that align with nature and reality. It’s about acting according to reason and virtue. To actively practice wisdom, you need both theoretical wisdom and practical wisdom. Theoretical wisdom requires an understanding of the nature of the world. Practical wisdom is about how to apply theoretical wisdom to your choices and actions. Put differently, to act with wisdom, you need to understand the true nature of things, then use reason to act in accordance with nature. Nature here is not just physical nature, like the environment, it also includes and maybe more importantly includes moral nature. Only by living according to nature can you truly live an excellent life.

Craig 06:05 

One last thought before we move on to Stoicism's core beliefs. Virtue is cultivated through practice. This truth draws on Aristotle’s practice-habit-being concept, which I covered in episode 26. It seems like a long time ago. You become virtuous by acting according to virtue. Now that you know about the cardinal virtues, consciously practice them until they become part of who you are. Be patient though. This will take time. Like Rome, a Stoic isn’t built in a day.

Alright, on to the core beliefs!

Here’s my take on the core beliefs of Stoicism. I want to acknowledge that others might have different views, but, hey, it’s my podcast!

The most important core belief is that virtue is the highest good. The pursuit of the cardinal virtues through reason and action are all (all) that’s required to live a good life. Everything else is secondary. Think about this. … If you use reason to live according to virtue, you are living an excellent life regardless of your job, your income, your possessions, your reputation … those are all superfluous … yeah, they’re nice to have, but they’re not required. They’re also not under your control, which brings me to the second core belief.

Craig 07:35 

Some things are within your control and some things are not. This is known as the dichotomy of control. Your actions, beliefs, desires, and opinions are up to you; they’re under your control. They are internal to you and they don’t depend on anybody or anything else. Things like reputation, income, possessions, and the actions of others are external to you and therefore out of your control. Understanding what is and what is not under your control can save you a lot of angst, upset and mental energy wasted on worrying about things that are beyond your control.

Stoics also believe that we should be indifferent to external circumstances. Take wealth for example. Wealth isn’t good or bad in itself. It just is. So, it’s fine to enjoy wealth if you have it, but you shouldn’t require wealth to be happy. Also, if fate smiles on you and you are wealthy, you should apply that wealth according to virtue and reason.

Craig 08:39 

Cosmopolitanism is another core belief. Basically this means that all humans belong to a single community … we’re all in this together. I talked about this in episode 84, which is available at livewellandflourish.com/84. Stoics believed that you have a responsibility to the wider community. After all, we’re all part of the same cosmos, so we should try to live in harmony, even when that’s difficult. A big part of this is treating everyone with respect and compassion, regardless of who they are. You can’t be truly happy if you only live for yourself.

Before getting into the central practices of Stoicism, I want to encourage you to sign up for my email list. It’s a great way to stay informed about what’s going on with Live Well and Flourish. There are some exciting announcements planned for the coming weeks and I wouldn’t want you to miss out (and you wouldn't want to miss out.) To sign up, just go to livewellandflourish.com. They’ll be a little form you can use to subscribe.

Craig 09:48 

Now let’s cover some central practices of Stoicism. Again, this is my list. Others might have different practices on their lists.

Mindfulness isn’t referred to by name in the classic Stoic texts (at least I think it’s not), but it IS a core practice. Stoics pay attention to the world around them and to the moment. We spend too much time regretting the past and worrying about the future. As Seneca wrote, “Two elements must therefore be rooted out once for all; the fear of future suffering, and the recollection of past suffering; since the latter no longer concerns me, and the former concerns me not yet.” Keep in mind that it’s fine to plan for the future, just don’t worry about it or let it make you anxious. This brings me to the second core practice.

Craig 10:42 

Premeditatio Malorum … the premeditation of evil. This is similar to negative visualization, which involves imagining the worst-case scenario. Premeditatio malorum involves imagining the bad things that can happen in specific future situations. Imagining these things mentally prepares you for dealing with them … it's kind of an emotional emergency preparedness drill. I’ll take this a step further and say that it can also help you find ways to possibly prevent bad outcomes. Keep in mind though, that the future isn’t under your control. So, if you try to mitigate future negative events and they happen anyway, don’t get upset, that’s just the way things go, that’s just fate, which brings me to the next core belief.

Amor Fati … the love of fate. Look, life happens, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse. I talked about this in the last episode, episode 85. Amor fati is about not only accepting what happens, but embracing fate even when things turn against us. All events offer opportunities for growth and learning, even those that externally seem bad.

Craig 12:02 

One of the things that WILL happen is that you will die, at least as far as your physical body is concerned. The Stoics believed that we should keep this in mind through the practice of Memento Mori … remember you will die. Staying mindful of the fact that your time on this earth is limited can help you value that time and focus on what’s really important rather than getting caught up in trivial externalities. What’s really important is living a life of reason and virtue. THAT should be your focus.

A final core Stoic practice is journaling. Reflecting on your actions, thoughts and feelings allows you to gain insights into how you’re living your life … what you’re doing well and where you need to improve. Journaling also allows you to explore your core beliefs, values and virtues. It kind of ties everything together so that you can continually practice wisdom and grow in your flourishing.

Craig 13:05 

Well, that’s my three Cs of Stoicism, its cardinal virtues, core beliefs and central practices. Trust me on this, adopt these aspects of Stoicism and you WILL lead a more excellent life.

How can you get started? Well, as you might imagine I have some thoughts. Here are three things you can do this week to leverage Stoicism for your flourishing.

My first suggestion is to start reading one of the classic Stoic texts. I recommend starting with the classics rather than a more modern take. Start with a good grounding in the foundational texts, then move on to modern interpretations if you'd like. I recommend Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic because I find it easier to read and understand than the other commonly-recommended Stoic texts, Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations and Epictetus’ Enchiridion (or The Handbook). All have their strengths and challenges, but you really can’t go wrong with any of them. Eventually you’ll want to read all three, along with some others such as Epictetus’ Discourses.

Craig 14:16 

A second suggestion is to pick a Stoic practice you find especially appealing and … well, practice it. I don’t have a favorite, but if you’re not already practicing mindfulness it might be a good place to start. Awareness is central to all Stoic practices, so strengthening your mindfulness muscles is a solid investment.

Reflection is also important to Stoicism. So, I suggest setting aside 10 minutes or so each evening to reflect on whether your behaviors that day aligned with the cardinal virtues. If you want to make your reflections even more effective, combine them with journaling by writing down your thoughts with respect to the virtues, beliefs and practices I discussed today. Here are a couple of questions that can get you started. “Today, when faced with difficulty, did I act with courage?” and “Was I just in my dealings with others today?”

Craig 15:15 

Here’s a fourth thing to try (no charge.) You can practice cosmopolitanism through kindness. Each day, perform some act of kindness to someone outside of your immediate family. (Of course, be kind to your family too.) The further afield from your immediate circle, the more your kindness will enhance your cosmopolitanism. As I pointed out in episode 81, kindness will pay off in many ways.

Well, that’s all I have for you today. Hopefully, I’ve convinced you that Stoicism can benefit your flourishing. After all, it’s not just for bros.

I’ll leave you with the words of Marcus Aurelius, “The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.”

Until next time, be excellent my friends.

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Until next time.